Random Friday Thoughts

Hey there. I'm just enjoying a lovely day off. Later when Kath gets home we're going to get our propane tank refilled. Thats right its grilling season again! A whoo hoo. Yeah get in my belly grilled hamburgers!

What else is going on with the Stewarts? Well we are seriously thinking about getting another cat. A friend of ours has to get rid of her 5 year old cat Merlin. From what i understand he's really friendly and he's fixed. So we are pretty sure he would get along with Diana. My one concern about getting him is I'm wondering if it will be fair to my cat of 15 years Hesh. We used to have 2 cats. Barney was our other cat and he passed away 2 summers ago. Its not like Hesh hasnt been an only cat. I seiously thinking of leaning towards getting him. At some point I'd like a little dog as well. Diana keeps saying she doesnt like dogs. Maybe one day when she's older.


I will now address some comments recently made on the blog. Comments are always appreciated so keep 'em coming.


Nicole: I would love to come camping with you guys this summer. However I'm not sure if Kath would agree to sleeping outside in a tent and oh yeah I currently don't own a tent. Our last residence had a cruddy moldy basement which destroyed the tent i did own.

Kelsey: I may have jumped the gun a bit. While Dollhouse hasnt been offically cancelled it looks like its headed that way. It hasnt been renewed yet and fox has decided not to run the final episode that was filmed. Fox has a bad track record with canceling shows really quick. I for one would like to continue to watch eliza Dushku run around in little tank tops fighting crime.

Rach: Sorry i should have made it clear that you don't actually know the lesbians that pooped on each other.Rach told me about a video her nephew told her about in which two wacky lovebirds pooped and puked on each other in the name of love.

More drunken Jay flashbacks

A friend of mine jokingly posted on Facebook that we should go camping at Sherkston. Sherkston was a magical beach where in the early to mid 90's i would go with my friends. We would camp at least twice a summer there and it was great. Would I go back now? To quote Danny Glover from the Lethal Weapon series- I'm too old for this shit. If Andrea is reading this one I know she'll back me up there. It was a lot of drinking morning noon and night. We would get up and just start drinking beer. We wouldnt bring much in the way of food either. Hot dogs. The end. We wouldnt get much sleep either. Usually there was another camper blasting Guns and Roses or Metallica. This would go on into all hours of the night. Then you would wake up with a wicked bad hangover and start the day again. Some highlights i can remember off the top of my head

1) My friend Dennis in the middle of the night going for a swim in the middle of the lake-fully dressed including a leather jacket. Then coming back to shore and getting in his bathing suit.

2) some metal head guy who kept calling us "brother." At one point he was sitting in a tree chopping up firewood. Another time he was chopping up a picnic table.

3) My friend Colin standing in the campfire with no shoes on. He had 4 cases of beer that weekend maybe all in one day.

4) Almost driving a golf cart into a tree. Good times

5)John so hung over he stayed in his tent all day only to emerge at night while playing the guitar.

6) the cool Bon Jovi cover band that played on the beach. Really is there anything cool about a Bon Jovi cover band? We watched on a sand hill overlooking the beach. I passed out and woke up a few hours later with a burn and a round beer cup mark on my stomach.


Yeah drawing a blank on the rest. Like i said there was a lot of drinking involved. Don't get me wrong those were fun times but i don't think i could handle partying like that again at my age.Now i would probably drink one beer and go sleep in the tent all day. I would however like to finally go camping with my family somewhere quiet. I've been wanting to camp with Kath since we met but for some reason havent gone yet. I think Diana would have a lot of fun. Oh yes some day we will camp. Oh yes.

No more tv for the Jaymeister

So i watch way too much tv. I admit I do love the tv. I think someone up there wants me to cut down on my tv watching. Usually at the end of the tv season a show or two that i watch will get cancelled. It's normal. This season is a different story. I would say about three quarters of my shows arent coming back next year. These shows are Stargate Atlantis, Battlestar Galactica, Trailer Park Boys, Life On Mars, Terminator the Sarah Connor Chronicles, Reaper, Dollhouse, Scrubs, King Of The Hill, My Own Worst Enemy, Pushing Dasies and Better off Ted. Now there's rumours that Chuck and My Name is Earl may be cancelled as well. This will pretty much leave me with 24, Lost and heroes. It was announced awhile back that next season is Losts last,i hear this week that 24 will probably be done next year as well. Heroes was lucky to get renewed for one more year. So maybe next year i will be reading a lot of books. Or i could get into Reality television. Nah I'd rather put a gun in my mouth or read the Twilight books.

Going blind and being told what to do with a penis--just another day at the office

So you all know i hate Saturdays-or more specifically working on a saturday. Yesterday was one of those horrible shifts. Big surprise. I can't remember the last Saturday that was cool. Lets put it this way. Jenniffer Love Hewitt could be sitting next to me-topless- giving me free pizza and comics and i would still have a lousy saturday. Anyhow the day actually started off nice. I was in a row with about 4 or 5 cool people who i could talk to. The day started off slow. I got to read a few comics and joke with the other reps. Then around noon almost all the lights go out in the place. I'm thinking cool-maybe the computers will go out also. Sorry to report it wasnt a power outtage. It was our managers turning out the lights. Why you may ask? So they could set up a big screen and play cartoons of Mickey Mouse playing golf all day. So that meant no more reading and i couldnt even see my keyboard. The nice glow from the monitor gave me a headache. Hey if youre gonna make me blind at least play Die Hard or The Dark Knight. Then it got busy. THe customers i started to get could be best described as slow and sleeping with their cousins. As usual i have a highlight. A lady was mad because she had paid her first bill with the exception of five dollars. Not really a big deal and she had until may to pay the five dollars. Well apparently it was a big thing and soon she had her boyfriend on the phone screaming at me. I explained the bill was a bit higher than what they paid but all they had left to pay was five dollars. Here's a bit of the conversation that followed

"well obviously you cant explain the bill so get me a supervisor"
"i appologize sir but you didnt pay enough there is still a five dollar balance i'm not sure what else you want me to say"
"we're done because you cant explain where this five dollar charge is coming from"
"i did explain where its coming from-several times"
"you dont know how to do your job so supervisor now!"
"ok but not sure why you need a supervisor for this"
"are you refusing me a supervisor?"
"no sir but.."
"we're done motherfucker"
"ok look there's no reason to get rude sir"
"fuck you"
"ok then i am warning you if you swear at me one more time i will be forced to end this call"
"is this call being recorded?"
"i sure hope so"
"good then go suck a dick."

With that he ended the call instead of letting me enjoy hitting the hang up button. Oh but the story does get better. He called back and got a 2nd employee and then a manager. He has the nerve to tell the manager that i was rude too him and then says he liked the 2nd rep better because he at least had a sense of humour. I'm sorry but what was even remotely funny about our conversation? Oh wait i guess when Chevy Chase told me to suck a dick that was comedy at its finest. Wow then i guess i'm in the wrong here and i really don't have a sense of humour. My bad.


Anyhow I'm off today even if Kath is not. Hanging out with Diana and we have a plethora of super hero cartoons to watch today. Just taking it easy before i get barraged with a ton of awesome calls from genius customers. The next three days are going to take forrever to get through. Oh well I can do it. As long as i font have to watch any more pluto cartoons in the dark. Well until the Ghost Whisperer actually does show up topless to my work with a stack of comics i guess i am stuck there. Well friends o'Jay-have an awesome Sunday and stay in touch.

Slurpee cup season! Alright. Giggitty Giggitty!

Well its day one of my two days off-and not a moment to soon. I was seriously on the verge of maybe taking a flight to Northern Virginia and committing murder. Every last customer yesterday was whining so bad i almost screamed. One guy whined for half an hour straight that we were cutting off his servous every month. Finally i just said "maybe you should think about paying your bill on time every month." Sure hope my manager didnt mark me on that one. I tell ya 6:30 didnt come fast enough. Kath came home around 10:00 and shortly after that Nicole and Rob came by for a visit. They just got back from a trip to Ireland. They gave us some souvenirs and talked about their trip. I forgot to ask Rob how many episodes of Stargate Atlantis he got through on the plane. He said he was taking all five seasons with him. Anyhow it was cool visiting with them. Nicole wants to read the "novel" i wrote. If she doesnt mind pages and pages of drunken in jokes than she is welcome to it. Rob if you are reading this we will have that Stargate Universe party oh yes we will.

This brings us to today. Started the day off right--with Slurpees. Its almost summer blockbuster movie time so that means 7-11 is having a slurpee cup tie in of some sort. For some reason Kath and i always have to get a whole set-twice. I guess if we ever have a dinner party we can break out the good Iron man or superman returns cups. This years tie in? Wolverine. Yep nothing like getting brain freeze drinking out of a Hugh Jackman cup. Made a trip to the ol comic book store as well. Bought some books for Diana and I. Kath then went to work which meant it was wagon ride time. While returning from our wagon adventure we ran into our good friends John and Rach. We went to their place and hung out for a couple of hours. Diana played with their daughter Becca. Another of our friends,Becky showed up as well. Rach told me some disturbing stories about lesbians who enjoy pooping on each other. Ain't love grand? THen Diana and I went to the grocery store to pick up more ice cream. Why am i overweight? John came with us as well. Kath came home around 10 and we went to the superstore, We bought Diana a Batman easter package that was marked down. It came with a really soft Batman pillow and a Batman wastepaper basket, Oh and candy that Diana immediately wanted to eat. Watched some comedies and then hit the hay. I have another day off tomorrow. This means another day that i dont think about committing murder!

"Sam there's a 90 percent chance that you've travelled back in time to explain a cable bill to a slow redneck"

My Favorite customer quote today:
A customer got a 12 month discounted plan today that will last from april 2009 to april 2010. He wanted me to backdate it to last January when his last 12 month plan expired. To which i replied

"i'm sorry sir but I can't go back in time and add this plan to your January bill"
"Find me someone who can!"

Pardon my stupidity but i don't think Time travel has been invented yet. Sure customer I will get you over to Doc Brown and Marty McFly for a ride in their Deloreon. Or on line 2 i have Sam Beckett and his quantum Leap accelerator. Moron

Burning Cars and Petty Shows

Howdy folks. Its the exciting start of a new week! I found out the other day that another long time friend of mine has been following my blog. I'm gonna give a shout out to my friend Andrea. We actually met in 1988 through my friend Scott. I remember it was at the Pen Centre and i think she was wearing an Indiana Jones hat at the time. I could be wrong. Anyhow as usual at work random memories pop into my brain. The other day i remembered a Tom Petty concert i had attended with Andrea and some other friends in 1991. It was the Into The Great Wide Open tour. Great show. For some reason there was a gigantic fake tree in the middle of the stage and at times Tom Petty would climb a ladder and go into the tree. So anyhow at the end of the night we were standing outside the venue and wanted to see if we could meet Tom Petty. The only thing we saw was his roadies yelling at hookers. Then we got the bright idea (and keep in mind we hadnt been drinking) to go wait in the dark alley beside the door that Tom Petty might come out of. Yes that was a real wise move,hiding in a dark Toronto alleyway. Not only did we risk geting mugged by some crazy Torontonian but how would it have looked if four or five kids jumped out of an alleyway at Tom Petty? Well we called off that plan and alas never got to meet Tom Petty.

Another Andrea memory i was thinking about was a time when she had driven Myself my Friend Colin and a crazy guy named Tim to the Grimsby truckstop. We must not have had a lot of responsibillity because we were constantly driving to out of the way places in the middle of the night. So we were sitting at a table enjoying our meal at the truckstop when we heard an announcement that a car was on fire in the parking lot. From the description it turned out to be Andrea's car. Colin grabbed a fire extinguisher and much like Kurt Russell in backdraft put out the fire. Andrea's dad and step mom showed up to pick us up and her dad actually drove her car home. I remember thinking he was either brave ir really crazy for driving it and kept waiting for it to burst into flames again.


Anyhow after all these years Andrea remains one of my best friends and i am happy we keep in touch.Unfortunately because of our work schedules and such we don't get to much of a chance to hang out anymore. We usually get together to go to a movie. The last time we saw her was when we saw Indiana Jones last summer. Hoping to catch Star Trek and Wolverine with her. Anyhow Andrea if you are reading this thanks for being my friend for the last 21 years. Let me raise a glass of pop to you! By the way as stated on an earlier post she was there on the famous New Years eve where we trashed a hotel room. I found another lovely pic from that night. Andrea is the one on the left and again enjoy my early 90's mullet!