And The Hits just keep on coming

Well i had another "awesome" Saturday at the office. Man it was wall to wall yelling for 10 hours today. I was so worn out from the screaming and swearing and abuse today that it actually felt like i had experienced a physical beating. Kind of like Bruce Willis in the Last Boyscout. In that movie he got the shit kicked out of him in pretty much every scene. Thats how i felt. I think at one point in the movie he said "if i live through this i swear to God I will dance a jig." Yep thats how i felt. At least i didnt start singing "Friday nights a great time for football." There was a price increase in one of the markets and you would have thought we raped their mothers and dumped sugar in their gas tanks. I've experienced price increases in everything from rent to utillities. Not once have i considered calling up a representative and screaming bloody murder at them. One lady got so mad at me that she said i "made the list." Didnt find out what list i made. Maybe she was hiring Tony Soprano to wack me. Oh well at least this weeks "make Jay blind at work" special was Casper the friendly ghost cartoons in the dark. I so love weekends on the job. I can only hope that next wweek my job and eyesight is impaired by a quick draw macgraw cartoon.

Quick question, When did Debbie Allen become such a bitch? I know her speach at the beginning of the show fame "if you want fame, fame costs and this is where you start paying--in sweat" was kind of bad ass but is there any reason to swear at me because her cable went up by 2 dollars? Ok maybe it wasnt Debbie Allen from Fame on the phone but i was right about one thing--she was a total bitch. Wait a minute--i think that was the lady whos list i apparently made. I hope she didnt hire the kids from fame to take care of me. Lord help me if Irene Cara attacks me while singing "fame! I'm gonna live forrever!"


Toilet training with Diana is going strong. Tomorrow we're doing our first underwear test run. It should be interesting. Poor kid has a bit of a cold now as well. Merlin the cat has been hiding in the basement for the last 2 days. Poor cat is scared of his own shadow.


Did the bi weekly trip to the states for groceries. Once again Nicole joined us. Got some stuff for Diana's birthday party next week. Visited a Burger King over their as well and picked up the other three Star Trek glasses. Ha ha i said glasses once again. There's also Star Trek toys in their happy meals. The cool thing at the Burger King we visited was you can buy the toys separately without having to buy a happy meal. I remember a couple years ago when there was a Star Wars tie in i asked a cashier at our local Burger King if there was any chance i could purchase some toys separately. Man you would have thought i pulled a gun on her. Anyhow where was I? Oh yeah the states was cool and now i have aN Uhora glass(really? glass again dude?} to drink pop out of.

Next week should be cool. Kath has the week off so i will actually get to spend some time with her. So i got that going for me.I'll continue to train the kid and i will try and get Merlin to come relax upstairs. Anyhow thats enough bitching for one night. Have a great evening kids. Jay out.

How many times can Jay friggin say the word glass

Well this week we picked up our first Star Trek glass. Not a plastic cup--an actual "glass" glass made out out of glass. It has a lovely picture of the new Captain Kirk on it. You don't see movie tie in glasses much anymore. The last time i can remember geting a set of movie drinking glasses was for Batman Forrever in 1995. That was pretty much the best thing that came out of that movie. So thinking about (wait for it) glasses got me thinking about an actual cool memory i have of my father. The year was 1980 and the Empire Strikes Back had just been released. I'm guessing i must have been watching Saturday morning cartoons or something and saw an ad for the Empire tie in at Burger King. They were offering for four weeks in a row, actual (you know I'm gonna say it again) drinking glasses. Man did i want to have a beverage out of drinking ware with Lando Calrissians face on it. Only problem? in 1980, believe it or not,there was no Burger King in St. Catharines. There was one in Niagara Falls though but who is gonna drive there every week for a new (cant think of a better word sorry) glass. My dad actually volunteered to take me out there every Sunday. So long story short-oh yeah i had many icy beverages out of my c3po (sigh) glass. It wasnt until maybe 2007 that there were also beverage containers for Return Of The Jedi. I got my grubby geek hands on a Han Solo holder of drink at a toy show in Rochester. Wow i sure managed to drag out a boring topic. Have a gread day everybody.

Two different kinds of training

So Diana starts school in the fall. We have stepped up potty training. Diana was on a roll there for awhile and then kind of fell off the wagon. She got a bit lazy and instead of telling us she had to go to the bathroom she would just go in the diaper. A couple of weks ago Kath gave her a "if you want to be a big girl you have to use the potty" speech. I think she took it to heart becasuse she has been telling us when she has to go. Other times i will just put her on the potty (which is a cool Spiderman seat by the way) just to get her used to it. Yes operation "get Diana in underwear" has begun. She's doing awesome so far and hope she can keep it up. I feel like eye of the tiger should be playing when she goes to the bathroom.


The second training i'm taking part in is "geting Merlin the cat used to our home" training. I understand the poor little guy is scared but i will slowly get him used to us and our house. Today i am going to introduce him to Diana's room. I feel bad that he has been hiding in our room and bathroom for almost a week. I will hopefully get him and Hesh to be buddies as well. Man i almost feel like Mickey from Rocky with all the training I'm doing.

Welcome to the family big boy

Well I'd like to take this time to welcome the newest member of the Stewart Family-Merlin the cat! Last Saturday He finally arrived. He has been hiding in our bedroom for the last week. Poor guy is scared. I can totally understand. He's been with the same owner for the last 5 years and now he's with a new family. Merlin is a big orange cat. I've never seen such a big cat before but he is really friendly. Diana calls him a scarredy cat. I've been trying to bring him out of the room a few minutes at a time but he usually ducks behind a couch or something. Also my other cat Hesh isnt used to having another cat around and they end up growling at each other. Good times. Also he likes to hide. I spent 20 minutes today looking for him. Turns out he was in the drawer of Kath's dresser. How he fit in there I don't know. Anyhow its going to be an adventure now with 2 cats in the family again. Wish us luck.

100th Post:: It is indeed Hip To Be Square

Hey there friends and welcome to my 100th post. I wasnt sure what to write about so i figured I'd go for another story about teenage Jay. I thought i would write about the 4 years i experienced the one thing i ever participated in during high school-The annual Air Guitar Contest. Lets be honest, lip syncing a song doesnt involve brain surgery. You pick a song you like and pretend to sing and play it. We've all done it while looking in a mirror-maybe with a tennis racket for a guitar. It was really fun and pretty much the closest I will ever get to being in a real band. Although i am a descent karaokee singer. Now if you will-the history of my air guitar band.

1986

The first year. I was as you know a shy kid and nervous about everything, Well not much has changed-except the kid part. I don't remember how we decided to sign up but Scott , Colin , myself and 2 other guys chose to lip sync the Huey Lewis classic "The Power of Love." To be honest i was really surprised we got in after the audition. I remember being nervous to "pretend" to sing in front of the whole school. I remember it being a huge rush when everyone actually cheered. It was kind of the first time i got noticed at the school. We pretty much copied the video. We ended up placing third. First place was the preppy favorites who insisted on imitating the same Bee Gees song every year. Second place was an all girls group who danced and jiggles around in little costumes. I would have voted them over me. Yes i am a pig. It was a cool experience and i even got my picture in the yearbook- but what do you do for an encore?

1987

If it ain't broke don't fix it. Yes we did another Huey Lewis song. Jacob's Ladder to be exact. We managed to find a really cool live version of the song. I don't think we placed but the "Bee Gee" preppy favorites won again. I thought it was a better fake performance. One thing creeped me out though. A friend of Scott's decided it would be funny to dress as a woman and rush the stage. I wasnt impressed and tried to ignore him. Still it was fun and again enjoyed the applause. Somewhere there exists photos from this extravaganza. If I ever find them i will surely post them.


1988

This was the year we didn't make it into the contest. Not to sound bitter but we all think it was fixed that year. Yes I sound like Mel Gibson in the Conspiracy Theory. That year the student council was jam packed with friends of those Bee Gee's guys. They didnt even have to audition. There was 2 days of auditions and Colin, Scott and I and a few other guys snuck onto the cat walk to view the fun. We watched a bunch of great performers who we figured would definately be in the show. We also saw some horrible acts--one guy was lip syncing a different song then the one playing on the speakers. Another guy admitted that he didnt know the words to the song he was doing. We auditioned and nailed it. We figured we were in as well as a few other bands that kicked ass. Guess what? We were totally wrong. We didnt make it in and neither did the other good ones. I remember a really cool Guns and Roses act that didnt make it either. All the bad ones mentioned above and some other equally cruddy performers did make it. Like i said it was rigged and big surprise-the Bee Gees who didnt even audition won the contest. Yes i know I sound bitter but it was the one thing i looked forward to every year and we werent even given a fair chance. Yes a fake air band show was that important to me. Sad huh?

1989

The last year of our fun fake run. This year we tried something a little different, We picked out Billy Joel's version of Back in The Ussr. Now of special note this was a week after Colin and i had been kicked out of the battle of the bands for being drunk. Our vice Principal Indiana Vrieswick was looking for any excuse to suspend us. This year we didnt even think about placing. We just went out to have a good time. Can you believe the Bee Gees did Staying Alive Again? Well we went out and did our thing. We were rockin' out! At one point i even jumped on Colin's back as he did a guitar solo. His idea by the way. We were in a groove. Then disaster struck. I lept through the air onto a riser that for some reason had a picture of Bill Cosby painted on it. It wasnt secured properly and i fell on my ass. Didnt matter though i got right up and continued without missing a beat. So fast forward to the end of the show and the mc started announcing the bands. You would walk out and get applause or what not. So we came out and while our friends cheered,we also recieved a lot of booing. What the hell. So i see colin throw his mighty arm in the air and flip the bird to the whole audience. I shrugged and soon i was also giving the middle finger to these rude assholes. I figured, well he's going to be suspended for a few days so might as well join him. It was the only time we defended our selves in our high school tenure, Then i hear a loud voice in the audience. Scott had actually gone to the audience and i hear him shout "yeah show thoe preppy mother fuckers what they're made of." I felt like a hero-until we were cornered by pricipal Indy. The conversation that followed was

Indy: "what did i see you guys doing on that stage?"
Me: "waving"
Colin:" yeah and the lights must have blacked out all our fingers except the middle ones!"
And that was it-no suspension no nothing. What a gyp. The best part of the day? The Bee Gees didnt even place. Thus ended our glorious Airband experience.Wow i sure rambled on and on there. Sorry about there. Hope I didnt bore you to much.

A quick thank you to everyone who has followed the blog. I can't believe I have stuck it out for 100 posts. Thanks for the kind comments.

Hooray! Wolverine didn't Suck!

Just a quick super hero related blog before i hit the hay. Yesterday Kath and Diana attended free comic book day. Kath is the best. I couldnt go due to my committment to getting a headache from rednecks. It was just a beyond horrible day. Just a whole lot of screaming and yelling because of a price increase. At times i felt myself getting really mad. I'm sure i must have sounded like a dick to some of the customers. I guess i shouldnt complain. This week the lights remained on with no golf related Mickey Mouse cartoons. Anyhow Kath was nice enough to wake up early to go to the comic book store where she obtained for me a copy of the coveted Green Lantern blackest night prelude. Also a quick shout out to Bev and Kim and Sheryl. They are the people that run the comic book store and they have been so good to us over the years. They put up with a lot of crap. I thought i was a nerd but i've seen grown ups in there arguing about which Green Lantern is better or people wondering why they can't have 25 comics on free comic book day. They were also nice enough to save Diana a Dc comics kid sampler comic. She loved it. This along with the awesome pot of chilli that kath made actually brightened up my craptacular Saturday.

Today on Sunday we made it out to the first of i hope 4 movies we get to see this summer. We saw Xmen Origins: Wolverine. I am happy to report it did not suck ass. I was a bit worried going in. I had heard nothing but bad things about the film. All i wanted was for it to be a bit better than Xmen 3. It was a lot better than that crap fest. The special effects were awesome. I have to learn to ignore reviews. I'd see another Wolverine prequel. Hugh Jackman is the bomb. Holy crap i just used "is the bomb" in a sentence. It was also cool seeing our friend Mike again. We used to go to movies everyweek. Now we're lucky to hang out a couple of times a year. Oh well. Ok i gotta run. It's probably going to be super busy at week due to the price increase.

Chainsaws and Lando

You know what rocks on my day off? Being woken up by 2 morons with a chain saw chopping down trees in the park at 8:30 in the morning. I don't ask for much on my days off. I just like sleeping in a little bit. I'm up at 7 in the morning on most days for work and i like to catch up on sleep on Wednesday and Thursday. Of course this also woke up Diana so there was no going back to sleep. Oh well. I guess thats a small thing to bitch at.

Just a few minutes ago the first batch of comic book convention guests was announced. So far the guests include Billy Dee Williams and Lou Ferrigno and Beau Bridges. Kind of neat. Not sure if i would stand in line to talk to anyone. Besides waiting to meet Henry Winkler last year the only other time i waited was to talk to a comic book writer named Brian Michael Bendis. It was an hour wait but i did get him to sign a copy of Ultimate Spiderman issue 1. My friend Mike was with me and we couldnt believe some of the fans who had boxes of stuff for the guy to sign. You know it was all going on ebay. My friend Mike asked him if he ever felt like jamming a pen in a fans thorax for making him sign a box of comics. Classic Mike. Maybe i will wait to meet Beau Bridges if Rob and Nicole come. He was in Stargate after all. And no guys you can't invite the "oh a piece of candy" guy.

Speaking of comic books,tomorrow is free comic book day. Once a year all comic book stores in North America set aside a day to hand out free comics. All the different comic book companies are involved and usually provide comics containing reprints. This year is a bit different, Dc comics is providing a brand new never before seen Green Lantern story which actually kicks off a major story this summer. I cant get the day off from getting yelled at by rednecks so Kath and Diana are going. Fingers crossed there will still be a copy of the Green Lantern story when they get there.


Spoke with our friend "the cat lady" and it looks like tomorrow Merlin the Cat will be joining the Stewart family . Diana has agreed to feed the cats from now on. Should be interesting.

Finally got to do a wagon ride today. Thought it was going to rain again but it got hot. Dumb ass me was wearing a leather jacket. Did more vacuuming and cleaning.Back to the grind tomorrow. Kath will be home soon. Will actually make it to the dollar store and maybe get another slurpee. Just heard from my friend Mike (of wait in line to meet Bendis fame) and he is definately in for Wolverine on Sunday. We're still hoping Andrea can make it. Hopefully her work schedule permits it. Thats it for now i guess. Just gonna wait for Kath to get home. Have a great first of may everybody.

Jay