Crazy ass month

Its the last day of February and I'm glad. This month sucked balls. It was a month of headaches, runny noses,dry coughs, bad backs,shift bids,muddy shoes,lost garbage cans,missed Kevin Smith shows, Rock and roller cola wars I can't take it anymore. Thank God for my family or i would have gone insane. So f you in the a February and glad to see ya March! Here's hoping we get a nice income tax return and no b S.

Oscar night with the fam

So this past Sunday we did the annual watch the Oscars night with my sister and Mom. The Oscars is my moms favorite show. Its her superbowl or World series. The oscars is porn to my mom. She gets right into the show and often tells us to shut up if we talk during it. The funny thing is i don't think she ever sees any of the movies that are nominated. I love my mom but we always find a couple things to make fun of her during these tv viewings. For example this year she kept saying she hated movies like Kung Fu Panda. "Oh i hated that movie! It was so stupid" she said . I was surprised and asked "you saw that movie?" She replied "no but i hated it." You gotta love my mother. Trying to explain the Pineapple express sketch to her was fun also. It was a fun night though. Lots of pop and chips and dip. Can't believe Heath Ledger didnt pick up his own award though. KIdding! Just wanted to see if Nicole would respond to that comment. I thought it was pretty cool that Heath got the best supporting actor award. In other movie news,pretty excited as the Watchmen movie is out next week. Took me 22 years to read the book but hoping to see the movie right away. Can't believe Kath doesnt want to see it but will probably go with my friend Mike. Oh and today i read that a Green Lantern movie is coming in December 2010. That is welcome news to a nerd like me.

Wish i Could build a bomb out of butter,tube socks and paper clips

So this week i was able to finally download something I've been looking for for about ten years. THe 1994 Macgyver tv movie Trail To Doomsday. Macgyver was a tv series that ran from 1985 to 1992. For you younger readers. Macgyver-as played by Richard Dean Anderson played an adventurer who refused to use guns and could fashion anything out of ordinairy household items. He was a friggin' genious! Yes people this is one of my favorite shows of all time. When Kath and I began dating i came to Rochester with her for the first time to see where she grew up. While we there i discovered that a station i didnt get here played Macgyver everyday! Kath was so sweet that she started taping the series for me. Everytime she visited she would present to me a new tape. I loved it. Around 2005 Paramount video started releasing The entire series on season set dvds. Every few months a new set would come out and it totally rocked! So going back a bit after the original series ended two Macgyver movies were produced.I managed to record the first the Lost treasure of Atlantis. The 2nd-The Doomday film i mentioned earlier- i was at a friends house when it aired and only caught part of it and unfortunately never got a chance to record it. Anyhow flash forwarding once again- After the seven seasons came out on dvd it was assumed that the two movies would get their own release. This wasnt to be. Instead Paramount pretty much showed its middle finger to the fans that bought the season sets and released a complete series box set with all the seasons and the two movies. This was the only place to get the films and i was not about to pay 200 dollars especially when i had purchased the seasons separately. Anyhow this week i was able to get a copy and copy it onto a disc! It is just as magical as i imagined! So in closing i will say F.U. Paramount video.

When Aquaman was cool

As everyone knows I'm pretty much a nerd. That being said I recently re read a series based on Aquaman that ran from 1994 to 2001. Everyone that watched the Superfriends in the 70's is familliar with the character. Orange shirt,green pants talks to fish. Yes he's a really lame super hero. In 1994 a fantastic writer by the name of Peter David took the sea king in an exciting new direction. He made him a complete bad ass. They got rid of the stupid costume and had him sporting long hair and a beard.Aquaman lost his left hand when the madman Charybdis stole his ability to communicate with sea life and stuck his hand into a piranha-infested pool. This caused Aquaman to become somewhat unhinged. Soon after, he attached a harpoon spearhead to his left arm in place of his missing hand. It was an amazing series and really established him as a cool character.

It didn't last. Soon in 2002 he was back to orange shirt,green pants,no beard and short hair. Oh and now he had a hand made out of water. Way to take a step backward dc comics. Anyhow the 1994 series is one of my favorite series of all time and just for a little while Aquqman was cool.

Cute cat. What's its name? Annoying customer

Just once i want to go into work and have a nice normal day where i don't get reemed out on every other call for ten hours. Here are some actual conversations i had yesterday with the red necks.

" I need to re do my out going voice mail message,somehow the other one got erased."
"ok I can try and walk you through that sir"
"actually i want a voice mail credit on my bill for the whole month"
"oh is the service also not working?"
"no people can still leave me messages but my outgoing message is erased"
"oh ok we only apply a credit if the service isnt working."
"its not working the way i want it to"
"I appologize the outgoing message needs to be re recorded but I can't apply a credit for that"
"Well you apparently dont know what you're doing. How long have you worked there? Two days?"
"Actually 7 years sir so I'm pretty familliar with our policies on credits"
"Get me a supervisor and if they don't give me a credit I will call the president of the company"


sigh

How about this gem

"My service hasnt worked since it was installed i want a credit"
"well i see here you called feb 11 to report a problem so i can credit from that day until today"
"but a tech came here and said you installed it wrong so i want a credit for the whole time"
"it says here you got the service in September. I can't credit that far back. If there was a problem you needed to call us and report a problem"
"i never use the internet"
"I appologize but i can't apply a credit for 5 months. We've been billing you that whole time and you never contested it until 5 months later."
"You guys installed it wrong. Let me put it to you this way if someone breaks into your house and he's still there when you get home,you know he's robbing you."
"so you're comparing your service not working to someone burglarizing my house?"
"get me a supervisor"

again sigh

How about this classic

"why was my service shut off?"
"well i see here you have had the service since July and made 2 payments. One of those was returned for lack of funds"
"you guys must have typed in the wrong check #"
"I'm sorry if that was the case but that was in December we gave you over another month before you were shut off.You owed 500 dollars before that payment was declined"
"you guys are guilty of doing my payment wrong. I want my service turned back on now!"
"you need to pay the account in full for that to happen"
"get me your supervisor and i will tell all my friends not to order your service"

double sigh


My favorite quote for yesterday?
"i want a credit for Harrison Ford and the Crystal Skull"



Oh well. At least I'm off today with Diana so that cheers me up. Hey without the customers i wouldnt have any funny stories i guess. So thats a plus.

Dry feet at last

Note to skateboard kids


You're gonna bust my wooden skid so my feet get wet then I'm gonna use your little skateboard ramp to cross the gi normous puddle. 'Nuff said

Tell Me Why I Don't Like Saturdays

I am not a big fan of Saturdays. It seems that there is a full moon that makes the customers even crazier than the rest of the week. I honestly thought this week could be different. Work provided us with a free breakfast complete with pancakes and bacon. I thought nothing could ruin a day where there was free bacon involved. I was wrong. Right off the bat when i first got there i couldnt log on to a computer, The first two computers i tried said i couldnt use them because the previous people who used the computers locked them. Finally found another free computer and proceeded to lock myself out. Took another ten minutes but my settings were finally reset. That brings us to my first call of the day. I had a 50 minute phone call from a screaming lady who wanted me to add up all the pay per view movies she had ordered in 2008. There was a billion ordered each month. Then she wanted me to add up all the times she called directory assistance in 2008. Again she used that service a billion times every month. After adding up every single charge do you think i got so much as a thank you? If you said yes then you would be mistaken. On top of this i found out my manager is going to be working a different job in the building. I am happy for her but sad that i'll be transferrred to a different team. It doesnt happen very often but i like everybody on my team. Everyone of my team mates is cool. I'm probably going to be stuck with a manager i cant stand. Its happenned before. I remember in 2005 i was on another awesome team and then on April first i got a message stating i was getting the worst team manager in the building. I kept waiting for someone to jump out and say April Fool! But no one ever did. Oh well. Such is life. Ok time to stop whining. There's no whining on Batman cartoon day!

Feet Deep In the Big Muddy

Is it wrong that i wished death to a kid i saw last summer? Let me explain. Behind our complex is a path that leads to a hole in the fence that leads to a parking lot. I cross the parking lot and am pretty much at work five minutes later. This is a simple routine unless it snows or rains. When that happens the path by the fence floods and takes days-sometimes weeks to dry up. I thought the situation was fixed last winter. A thoughtful person put a wooden skid by the opening in the fence. It was high enough to step on so that your shoes wouldnt get wet. It was all good. So last summer i remember two kids-probably skateboard kids because they are bastards- taking turns busting the skid into a million pieces. I remember at the time thinking "thats going to suck next winter." Man i hate it when I'm right. Fast forward to last week-or is that now a flashback? Lost has confused my brain. The snow melted as a result of it warming up outside. There of course is a major flood by the fence. Unfortunately that path is my fastest way to work. I found however that if you grab the fence and ease your way around then water damage is minimum. Yesterday however and caught my shirt and finger on the fence. My shirt and hand ripped and as my feet sank below the muddy water i wanted a bus to hit the kids that broke the skid last summer.Ok maybe i don't want the kids hurt. Just have their hands broken so they cant break anything else.

Welcome Back Jay!

Ugh! Back to work after a five day rest. What new adventures would the rednecks bring me? Right off the bat the day goes horribly wrong. For some reason I along with the rest of the people in my row can't access anything on our computers. What really sucks is we still have to answer the phones. So pretty much were telling customers we can't access their accounts. If they had an exact question about their account unfortunately they were pretty much screwed. So my first caller doesnt quite understand that i cant look at her account and keeps me on the phone for fifteen minutes. I keep appologizing and she goes so far as to tell me what to go do with myself. I tried for over an hour to get my computer running. Finally i was told to change desks and sat at one of the worst stations ever. It worked but all the letters were worn off the keyboard and i had to jam a piece of paper into my headset Macgyver style to stop it from falling down. I then proceeded to speak to a customer that demanded i take her payment and not chare her a processing fee. I gave her all of our free payment options. SHe doesnt like that and for some reason asks me if i have a high school diploma? Before i could open my mouth she ended the call. Had she waited i would have told her that i did indeed have a high school diploma and the joke was on her-i was a college drop out!! What a great day! It sure was awesome to be back. After work I found out my sister was now blogging. I've now inspired two people to blog! The circle is complete!!

Rap music is the Devil!

Everyone pretty much knows where i stand with rap music. I don't think its music at all. Yes i sound like my dad when i was growing up. My nephew Russell loves it. He can't get enough of it. So last night when i was at my sisters house he was trying to download a rap video by some guy named Akon or Acorn or whatever the hell his name is. When it was finnished downloading it he hit play. Yeah it was porn, Not just any porn- it was gay porn. Who knows maybe it was the actual Akon video. So the lesson learned here is Rap music is evil!

Indiana Sis

So today was day 4 of my 5 days away from red necks. I'm kind of sad I only have one more day to go. Oh well such is life. Tonight we went over to my sisters house to hang out. I played a little lego Batman on the Wii with my nephew. So I just want to go on record as saying my sister is my new hero. So every year since i was 7 or 8 years old i would get a calendar of some sort and put it up after midnight on new years eve. I've had some pretty cool calendars over the years-everything from Springsteen to Star Wars. So this year I had my heart set on getting an Indiana Jones calendar. I was running short in the cash department so figured I'd wait til after new years to find one-thats when they're marked down. Long story short-I waited to long. No more Indiana Jones or anything remotely cool. Plenty of Napoleon Dynomite still in stock though. Is that movie even relevant any more? So it got to today feb 7th and any thoughts of owning a calendar this year were long gone. To my surprise my sister presented me with an Official Indy Calendar. Very cool! That is why she is my new hero. Holy crap its almost 2:30 in the morning and I'm rambling on about a calendar. Well its off to bed and unfortunately when I wake up it will be my last day off. Oh well at least its Batman cartoon day with Diana.

Jay and Scott's Excellent Prom Adventure

So a few days ago on the wonderful site known as facebook, Kath left a note that encouraged everyone to post their favorite memory of her. I thought that was a really cool idea so today i did the same thing. My friend Jill reminded me of one of my favorite innebriated experiences.

It was spring of 1989-holy 20 years ago! Scott and I- 2/3rds oh the mighty Amigos were downtown enjoying some pizza and Beers at a wonderful little joint called Pizza Express. It was the night of our schools prom. We were not big fans of our school. We went to a really snooty school where we really didnt fit in. We weren't stuck up and we didnt wear shorts in the winter. Anyhow around our fifth beer,with nothing better to do that night we thought it would be funny to go stand out in front of the prom and make fun of people. Yes beer makes you do silly things. Maybe five minutes after we had arrived we ran into our friend Jill who thought we should come in. I didn't think we would get away with it. We didnt purchase tickets and we werent really dressed for a formal prom. Scott was in shorts and a vest and I being the fashion plate i was wore ripped jeans, a jean jacket and dog tags for some reason. Jill wanted us to try anyhow and one by one she walked us in. I'll be damned--it worked! No one said a word to us about sneaking in. Anyhow we ran into some people we knew. We had a few more barley based beverages and we started having a good old time. Here's the funny part--i was really whooping it up. I was singing really loud and i think at one point was standing on a table. Scott was quietly sitting in a chair being as calm and cool as he could be. A girl i knew who i kind of had a crush on came up to me and asked me to dance and even wore my jean jacket over her prom dress. When i came back from the dance i noticed Scott's chair was empty. Apparently one of the stuck up preppy bitches had gotten him thrown out. So to sum up-Scott sitting quietly gets thrown out while i acted like a drunken ass and got to stay. It didnt matter a few minutes later Scott snuck back in and we stayed till the end of the prom. Good times.

The Big Five Oh

Hey kids. Today is kind of a milestone! Its My 50th post on my blog! Wow never thought i would have made it this far when i sat down last September and wrote my first post. Wow time flies. I'd like to thank all the people who made this possible. First to mt friend Allison who convinced me to start writing the blog. Thanks also to all my blog followers all five of you. I'm happy anyone is reading and hope I've entertained you. To my family Kath and Diana-- you constantly inspire me. To my mom for not saying no 40 years ago otherwise i might not be here now. To Bruce Springsteen, Tom Petty,Indiana Jones, Kevin Smith and all my other heroes. To Spiderman for keeping us safe at night. To all my customers,your insane ranting has provided me with countless tales. I promise i will try and keep the blogs entertaining and hopefully my friends will still want to read them. See you at 100 posts! Cheers!

Day off 2: Electric Bugaloo

Hey there. My second day off of five in a row was pretty cool. It was my only day off this week that Kath didnt have to go in to her work, As mentioned in an earlier post we went to an open house of Diana's future school. She loved it and didnt want to leave. The teachers were pretty nice and we got a tour of the classroom. I still can't believe that i have a kid old enough for school. After the tour we went to the comic book store. I put some books on hold . Then we came home and Kath made the best Chilli I had eaten in some time. All in all a pretty uneventful day but still pretty cool. Oh and Diana has informed us she wants to be Spider girl for the comic book convention in August. I'm a proud father indeed.

School time for yammy

Good Day and welcome to day one of my five days off from work extravaganza. I booked tomorrow off so we can take Diana to an open house of her new school. My little baby is starting school in the fall. I can't believe it. She's turning into a big girl. I think she's growing up too fast and it makes me feel a little bit sad. I still remember the day she was born. It was the highlight of my life. Oh well. She's really excited about starting school and wants to do homework. That'll change when she gets to high school. Man how is she old enough for school?

What time is it? Boss time!

After a half decent weekend it was back to work today. Tried to stay happy by thinking about the awesome superbowl half time show by Bruce Springsteen and The E Street Band. I've said it before but i can't believe Bruce is almost 60. I'm 20 years younger than him and I get tired watching him. Man he has a lot of energy. The superbowl peformance was magic. He cut four songs down to a total of 12 minutes: Tenth Avenue Freezeout, Born To Run, Working On A Dream and Glory Days. It was awesome. It was complete with fireworks and a choir. I love our dvr. I got to fast forward through the game until i got to the Boss. I love that Kath has become a huge Springsteen fan sinc we've been together. She rewound and watched the set three times! Bruce is my 2nd favorite boss after Kath! Man two years in a row for "Jay" bands playing the halftime show. Last year it was Tom Petty. You may recall from the last several blogs that Petty also rocks!