100th Post:: It is indeed Hip To Be Square

Hey there friends and welcome to my 100th post. I wasnt sure what to write about so i figured I'd go for another story about teenage Jay. I thought i would write about the 4 years i experienced the one thing i ever participated in during high school-The annual Air Guitar Contest. Lets be honest, lip syncing a song doesnt involve brain surgery. You pick a song you like and pretend to sing and play it. We've all done it while looking in a mirror-maybe with a tennis racket for a guitar. It was really fun and pretty much the closest I will ever get to being in a real band. Although i am a descent karaokee singer. Now if you will-the history of my air guitar band.

1986

The first year. I was as you know a shy kid and nervous about everything, Well not much has changed-except the kid part. I don't remember how we decided to sign up but Scott , Colin , myself and 2 other guys chose to lip sync the Huey Lewis classic "The Power of Love." To be honest i was really surprised we got in after the audition. I remember being nervous to "pretend" to sing in front of the whole school. I remember it being a huge rush when everyone actually cheered. It was kind of the first time i got noticed at the school. We pretty much copied the video. We ended up placing third. First place was the preppy favorites who insisted on imitating the same Bee Gees song every year. Second place was an all girls group who danced and jiggles around in little costumes. I would have voted them over me. Yes i am a pig. It was a cool experience and i even got my picture in the yearbook- but what do you do for an encore?

1987

If it ain't broke don't fix it. Yes we did another Huey Lewis song. Jacob's Ladder to be exact. We managed to find a really cool live version of the song. I don't think we placed but the "Bee Gee" preppy favorites won again. I thought it was a better fake performance. One thing creeped me out though. A friend of Scott's decided it would be funny to dress as a woman and rush the stage. I wasnt impressed and tried to ignore him. Still it was fun and again enjoyed the applause. Somewhere there exists photos from this extravaganza. If I ever find them i will surely post them.


1988

This was the year we didn't make it into the contest. Not to sound bitter but we all think it was fixed that year. Yes I sound like Mel Gibson in the Conspiracy Theory. That year the student council was jam packed with friends of those Bee Gee's guys. They didnt even have to audition. There was 2 days of auditions and Colin, Scott and I and a few other guys snuck onto the cat walk to view the fun. We watched a bunch of great performers who we figured would definately be in the show. We also saw some horrible acts--one guy was lip syncing a different song then the one playing on the speakers. Another guy admitted that he didnt know the words to the song he was doing. We auditioned and nailed it. We figured we were in as well as a few other bands that kicked ass. Guess what? We were totally wrong. We didnt make it in and neither did the other good ones. I remember a really cool Guns and Roses act that didnt make it either. All the bad ones mentioned above and some other equally cruddy performers did make it. Like i said it was rigged and big surprise-the Bee Gees who didnt even audition won the contest. Yes i know I sound bitter but it was the one thing i looked forward to every year and we werent even given a fair chance. Yes a fake air band show was that important to me. Sad huh?

1989

The last year of our fun fake run. This year we tried something a little different, We picked out Billy Joel's version of Back in The Ussr. Now of special note this was a week after Colin and i had been kicked out of the battle of the bands for being drunk. Our vice Principal Indiana Vrieswick was looking for any excuse to suspend us. This year we didnt even think about placing. We just went out to have a good time. Can you believe the Bee Gees did Staying Alive Again? Well we went out and did our thing. We were rockin' out! At one point i even jumped on Colin's back as he did a guitar solo. His idea by the way. We were in a groove. Then disaster struck. I lept through the air onto a riser that for some reason had a picture of Bill Cosby painted on it. It wasnt secured properly and i fell on my ass. Didnt matter though i got right up and continued without missing a beat. So fast forward to the end of the show and the mc started announcing the bands. You would walk out and get applause or what not. So we came out and while our friends cheered,we also recieved a lot of booing. What the hell. So i see colin throw his mighty arm in the air and flip the bird to the whole audience. I shrugged and soon i was also giving the middle finger to these rude assholes. I figured, well he's going to be suspended for a few days so might as well join him. It was the only time we defended our selves in our high school tenure, Then i hear a loud voice in the audience. Scott had actually gone to the audience and i hear him shout "yeah show thoe preppy mother fuckers what they're made of." I felt like a hero-until we were cornered by pricipal Indy. The conversation that followed was

Indy: "what did i see you guys doing on that stage?"
Me: "waving"
Colin:" yeah and the lights must have blacked out all our fingers except the middle ones!"
And that was it-no suspension no nothing. What a gyp. The best part of the day? The Bee Gees didnt even place. Thus ended our glorious Airband experience.Wow i sure rambled on and on there. Sorry about there. Hope I didnt bore you to much.

A quick thank you to everyone who has followed the blog. I can't believe I have stuck it out for 100 posts. Thanks for the kind comments.