Not all days at work suck donkeys ass

Wow I had one of the best days at work that I've had in a long time. I had my yearly review. Totally forgot about it. As of December 27th I had been at my job for 7 wonderful years. Every year you get a review to determine if you get a raise or not. In past years reviews have been late. One time my review was 2 years late. Seriously.So when my manager told me this years file was done i was more than surprised. This was the fastest it had ever been completed. THe best part is it was the nicest one I've had yet. Long story short i got an awesome raise and my manager said it was a pleasure to write up my report. I had to laugh though because my manager said i had a lot od patience with customers and never get mad. Thats rich. Just Monday i took 115 calls and was ready to hop a plane to punch some of the customers in the mouth. If this wasnt good news in itself--i actually spoke to two of the coolest customers ever--in a row. And lo and behold a Christmas miricle occurred--the both asked for a supervisor to compliment me! I was floored. So now i have 2 great customers compliments in my work folder. Life was pretty sweet just for one day. So 2008 ended nicely at my job. Hooray!

Looking Back on drunken New Years past

Howdy folks and welcome to New Years Eve. Tonight we're headed to my sisters to ring in 2009, I got to thinking about past New Years events in my life. THere were two in particular that came to mind-1992 and 1993 the two years my friends and i got a hotel room and got drunk and stupid.

In 1992 a bunch of us decided to get a hotel room. We really didnt plan ahead the level of drunken stupidity that would occur during that evening. First of all for some reason almost all of us were not fully clothed. None of us got naked or anything like that but some of us were in our underwear. I myself wore a leather jacket and underwear. To this day i have no idea why. One of my friends walked into the room in underwear and shoes to imitate Mr Bentley from the Jeffersons. A couple of other friend-my future brother in law included dragged a Christmas tree into the room they had found by the side of the road. Oh and also we all pretty much trashed the room. Another two friends decided to wrestle and busted a bed. One of the guys broke his thumb trying to fix the bed. Another friend kicked in a bathroom door because someone was drinking her wine in the bathroom with the door locked. Beer was poured everywhere. It was a disaster. No one was hurt although a couple of friends had sex in the bed next to mine while i was trying to sleep.

This brings us to 1993. It was a little more mellow. We got a hotel room but then walked down to the Falls for the annual New Years concert. That year it was Colin James which was massively cool and Alanis Morrisette who at the time was a dance artist and pretty much Canada's answer to Debbie Gibson. Afterwards not a lot happenned except for one friend peeing on the ice that was keeping the beer cold in the tub. Man we were dumb back then. Looking back on it now i can't believe how much alcohol we were able to consume. It was nice doing that with all my friends. These days i wouldnt be able to handle that. One beer and I'm wasted.Ah to be young again

Happy Friggin New Year!!

So its that time of year when the old year closes and a new one begins. The time has come once again to make the old new years resolutions. In 2009 i will try

1) To lose weight --I'm getting rather portly and would like to drop at least 20 pounds. Its important i try not to look like Boss Hogg anymore

2) To not to worry so much about stuff. I need to relax or I'm going to cause myself to get a huge bloody ulcer. Good times!!

3) To get bitten by a radioactive incect of some type and/or get splashed with nuclear waste and become the defender of St Catharines

4) To win the lottery and buy a house and a space shuttle or something oh and hire Bruce Springsteen to play Diana's next birthday party!

5) To meet another Happy days cast member. I sure hope Potsie is at this years convention!

6) To convince Kath that a 3 way with Jenniffer Love Hewitt is in both our interests


These goals seem kind of realistic and i feel totally achievable. Yay 2009!

Jay: Not 100 percent grinch after all!

Ok so its Christmas Eve and I'm finally in a tiny bit of Christmas spirit. Despite being sicker than a dog I went back to work yesterday. What was really nice was recieving cards from co workers and everyone wishing each other happy hollidays amongst the usual plethora of calls from ignorant hillbillies. My friend Stace gave me a really cool old Spiderman comic and a big bird ornament for Diana. My icy/anti Christmas heart actually melted a bit. I'm not working for the next three days and I'm just looking forward to getting the house ready for "Santa" tonight and watching some Christmas movies with Kath. Christmas Vacation will be a given and we also have some movie recorded starring Michael Shanks of Stargate fame. I am looking forward to seeing Diana's reaction to gifts tomorrow and it will be nice to see my family. I've only seen my brother in law once this year. I'm hoping theres no drama or at least no chair throwing by my step father. Ah the holidays! So to anyone actually reading this blog,hope you have the most awesome Christmas!

Winter Wonderland My Ass

Well as we all know we finally got hit with snow really hard over the last few days. It started blowing around and coming down hard on Friday. Now a normal human being would have just stayed home but not the Stewart family! We had to start Christmas shopping on December 19th! Good news is we didnt die, However i had to shovel three times that day! I'm out of shape so i was huffing and puffing and sweating like Chris Farley on a summers day! This I'm sure contributed to the fact that I'm sicker than a dog and actually had to call in sick to work today. Those of you that have worked with me know this is a rare occurrence. I never call in sick as I enjoy getting a regular pay check. We went to Rochester for the weekend. We came home late last night after taking three and a half hours to get home From Rochester to Niagara Falls there was a bad storm. We drove maybe 20 miles an hour as couldnt see anything. It was in the car that i started to shiver and start to feel achy. So we finally get home and because we hadn't been there all weekend,our parking space was snowed in. I leapt out of the van and started shovelling as fast as i could. Just as i went to put the shovel away my body decided that it was time for me to blow chunks. If there ever was a sign that i wasnt going into work that was it. So now I'm missing out on 10 hours of pay. So to sum up if I may channel Ricky from the Trailer Park Boys for one moment, fuck you winter,fuck you snow , fuck you cold and fuck you pizza that came up after i finnished shovelling.

Happiness is....

..... watching hours of christmas specials with my daughter while laying on the couch eating popcorn and not talking to red necks on the phone. I love my day off!!

shitty

Pet peeve of the day. It seems that everyone i work with is a slob on the weekends. Ok lets rephrase that. Don't know if the lady folk are slobs. The guys who don't flush the toilets and smear crap everwhere are. I'm scared for my life everytime i enter the mens room on a saturday. What the hell. Seriously i know its a lot of effort to flush but come on. I enjoy almost heaving on every break, Its wonderful. Merry Christmas everybody!!

Is'nt It Ironic-Don't Ya Think?

So I took a call from a lady who asked for a supervisor. I tried to figure out what type of supervisor she needed and her reply to me was to shut my mouth. I had just given her a 35 dollar credit and was doing my best to help her. She was having some technical issues so i suggested to her she speak with a technical supervisor. After her lovely shut my mouth comment she said she was going to go down to a main office and report me. I gave her the credit she wanted and tried to get her to the right department. Yep I guess I'm an asshole. The irony here was her last name was polite. She was anything but polite. Her last name should have been rude.

jolly old saint douche

So I was watching the two great animated classics Santa Clause is coming to town and Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer. Diana loves them and has been watching them constantly. Anyhow I've been watching them every year since i was a kid and realized for the first time that Santa is kind of portyayed as a douche. FIrst of all in santa Clause is coming to town all of the towns children are sad and depressed. All there toys have been taken away and all they do now is wash stockings. They're pretty much slaves. So Santa shows up after the kids have lost their toys and are scrubbing their hands raw cleaning the parents socks. He decides he will make more toys but then gets pissed off that the kids are sad and threatens to not bring the toys if the kids dont "get those sour looks off their faces." What an ass. I'd be like screw you Santa I hope the only thing you get for Christmas is the New Kids on The Block Christmas cd or a kick to your santa balls.


In Rudolph he's kind of racist. He shows up after Rudolph is born and is disgusted with Rudolphs red nose. In an effort to please Santa Rudolph is forced to wear a black fake nose. Doesnt matter that he sounds mildly retarded with the nose on as long as the fat man is happy. Then he's trying out for Santa's reindeer team. He sets the record and jumps the highest. Everyone loves him and Santa is impressed. Then his fake Rudolph nose falls off and Santa's attitude changes to " f you! you have a red nose you ain't gonna be on my team even though you were really impressive and the other reindeers cant jump to save their lives. Oh and further proof of what a prick he is. He makes the elves sing songs about him. One day the elves sing a song in his honour and he is clearly not impressed. Gee sorry they werent the Beatles Santa . Jolly old soul my ass

Randall Graves had it right-the job would be great if not for the fucking customers!

Hey Gang. Its been awhile since I blogged. I haven't had a lot of interesting tales to tell. Today I talked to a wonderful customer who made me glad to be a human being. I'm kidding. He was a crazy douche. Here is the exact conversation


Jay: How can i help you?
Crazy bastard: Why can't i pay on the automated line?
Me: Not sure i can check your account and the automated line to make sure its working
ass: (yelling) why can't i use it? Tell me. Whats wrong!
poor me: I have no idea sir. I appologize if it didnt work for you but i will make sure its working today
cust from hell: I don't want to pay you to take a payment! Why can't i use your automated line?
frustrated Jay: Sir if I may....
Douchy MacGee: You'd better get your fucking shit together! You fucker!
confused Jay?: Sir I'm trying to help you. However I'm going to have to ask you to watch the language.
Craxy loser prick: fuck you! Suck my cock. You fucking mental case! {Hangs up phone)
relieved Jay: so you dont want me to check the automated line?


So to sum up some screaming,swearing lunatic called me a mental case. I didnt even get an account # to check his notes. Oh well. Gosh he was swell. He reminded me of the crazy bus driver lady on southpark.

Pirate Jesus and the Fancy Holiday Party of Doom

So over the weekend I attended Kath's workplace Christmas party. It was the first Christmas party I've been to since 1997. I've never been to my current jobs party in 6 years of working there and have no plans to do so this year. Kath's party was cool. We sat with Rob and Nicole and I met several of Kaths co workers. Kelso in particular made me laugh. The attire was formal and Nic actually wore her hair down, She has some cool hair. I had a great time. Dinner was awesome and Kath and I both won door prizes, The coolest guy at the shindig kind of ressembled Jesus. Oh and the best part was he was wearing a puffy pirate shirt much like Jerry Seinfeld in that famous Seinfeld episode. Boy could he cut a rug on the dance floor!! Oh and there was a huge slideshow montage of all the different events held over the last year, My daughter actually made it into 3 slides!! SHe had her picture taken a bunch of times at a family day event. She made it into the slides more times than Kath's boss!! My daughter the superstar!!

Finally! A Good mood for Jay

Well will wonders never cease? For the first time in awhile I'm in an awesome mood! It's been a rough couple of weeks. I've had nothing but yelling customers. One charming gentleman called me a nut bag. Actually that one was funny. I've had a headache for a couple of days and just havent felt very happy. Today I couldnt be better. I'm off and at home with Diana. She's cracking me up. Its pretty nice outside. No bills arrived. Its a comic book Wednesday complete with the first issue of Kevin Smith's Batman mini series. The kid didnt wake me up too early. I'm fully awake. I've lost 2 pounds despite cheating my ass of and not sticking to my diet. We found a baby sitter so we can attend Kath's Christmas party on Saturday' Oh and to top things off? The super friends we are watching has the Atom on it!! The only thing that could make it better would be to have Kath here and catching up on our shows. I shouldnt get to used to it though. Tomorrow its back to the ol' grind. But on the bright side I am off on Saturday. Holy i only have to work one more time this week!! For today anyhow to quote Joe Walsh-life's been good to me so far!

dude time to grow up

I have a quick question. What's the deal with the guitar player from Ac Dc? He's like 100 and still dressing like a school boy. How was that ever cool by the way? I was a kid and i thought that was lame. That is the question i am pondering today. Thank you

stupid weezer singer looking border guard

Went to the States on Sunday with Kath and our friend Nicole. Had a pretty good time grocery shopping. I met Nicole and her boyfriend Rob this year. Kath works with Nicole. They are pretty cool people and we have a common interest in the show Stargate. I'm glad i have Kath to introduce me to new people because i really suck at meeting new friends and for some reason even at age 39 I get shy. Nicole is a bit younger than us and this Sunday i realized that technically I am old enough to be her dad. Thats ok though. I'm old. Anyhow we got held up at the border and after waiting for what seemed like days we got to the customs window. The guy looked like a 12 year old version of Rivers Cuomo the lead singer from Weezer. Nic thinks it was the kids first day on the job because he kept repeating the same questions and asked us how much we spent even though he had all our reciepts in his hand. Anyhow thats about it for now.

Halloween recap

Wow forgot to mention how halloween went. So Diana finally settled on a costume the night before. All month she changed her mind at least 3 times a day. She wanted to be everything from a pumpkin to "Indy" Jones. We thought at long last she was going to be Cinderella. She even had a Cinderella dress. Kath and I were going to be Batman and Batgirl. We found cheap Batman masks and capes from the dollar store. To cap off our costumes Kath stitched bat symbols to our black sweat shirts. Sure the costumes were cheap but we were just going to be walking around our complex. So while Kath was getting the shirts ready Diana decided she wanted to be Robin. Even though she had a cinderella costume this was kind of cool. She had her robin costume from the comic book convention and now we could be one happy Bat family. On October 31st we stepped out of the house and realized that we were the only adults dressed up this year. No worries our friends John and Rach always dress up. That wasnt to be the case this year. Oh well. Trick or treating was fun. Everyone loved Diana's costume and a few times kids would say hi Batman to me. Diana was done trick or treating about half an hour after we started. Kath and i sat out for the next hour and handed out candy. Gotta tell ya,not real impressed with the costumes this year. A lot of kids showed up with no costumes at all. Kath finally called a girl out and asked why no costume. The kids answer : "I'm a bully." Touche costumeless kid. Getting tired okids with unoriginal costumes we took the last 10 recces peanut butter cups inside and called it a night. Can't wait for next year to see what Diana wants to dress as. Should be interesting.

tree time

Its been kind of a stressful last couple weeks. Things keep happening that we have no control over. Work has been brutal as well. I feel mad all the time and the customers are annoying me more than usual. I feel like i had better calm down or run the risk of getting fired. Getting fired would suck for my family. So my solution to cheer up? Thats right we're putting up our christmas tree! Only about 45 days before christmas!! Hopefully the sight of the tree will make me happier. We get cool ornaments every year. Many of them have nothing to do with Christmas. I think Darth Vader, The Flash and Mark Maguire fit in well with Santa and Frosty. Well wish me luck in reducing the stress other wise i may get fitted for a straight jacket.

Happy Zack and Miri day! Oh yeah its also Halloween

Hey everyone! Zack and Miri comes out today! That right new Kevin Smith!! A whoo hoo! Can't believe how big an event a Kevin Smith film is with Kath and I. His films were one of the first things we bonded over. Kath and I are going Sunday and she's invited a billion people! Thats cool. Can't wait. There's also a Kevin Smith Batman mini series that starts in 2 weeks. Ah the geek in me is huge.

Jack is back!

Man I'm excited. There's a new 24 tv movie coming out next month! Saw a trailer for it today! On top of that saw a preview for the upcoming season 7. This is definately my favorite show and have been pretty much in withdrawl since the last episode aired in May of 2007. Stupid writers strike. As long as Keefer Sutherland shoots people and yells dammitt!! I think I'm gonna be pleased. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6whQylqa5Ko&feature=related


Man I cant wait. Its been a long time since I've seen Jack Bauer chop a dudes head off. Good times!

a couple Halloween memories

So halloween is less than a week away. I'm looking forward to taking Diana trick or treating again. Last year was her first time and she was a little shy but by the end of the night she was getting the hang of it. This year she is dressing as a princess and Kath and I will be dressed as Batman and Batgirl. I havent dressed up in years. I was thinking about some of my past halloween memories as a kid. Luckily I had an aunt who made me a lot of my costumes. Remember those old costumes where they would take a character like say Darth Vader and you would get the plastic mask with the string that held it up and the additional smock that would have the picture and name of the character? Lame. I never had to deal with the humilliation of those costumes. Also i seem to remember trick or treating until 10 or 11 at night. It seems like theres no kids out after 9 anymore. I remember one of the first times i trick or treated in the 70's. We knocked on a door and no one came out. I remember getting pissed and i kicked the door and exclaimed "I'm the six million dollar man!" The owner of the house came out and we ran. One year i was Superman but the lame thing was i had broken my arm. So i was superman with a big ass cast on his arm. Good times. Actually the last time i dressed was to go to a bar with my friend Dennis in the mid 90's. If you wore a costume there was a specific hour in the night where you could drink for free. We got the cheapest costumes we could find. I put on a mechanics suit and Dennis got one of those lone Ranger masks. They were the worst outfits in the place but they did the trick. I think we crammed 10 or 11 free beers each into that hour. I learned the hard way that a mechanics suit with no zipper is not the best thing to be wearing when you've had a ton of beer. So be responsible don't drink and dress like a mechanic. Happy halloween kids!

Long Live the Amigos!

Today at work a song I hadn't thought about in a long time popped into my head. The song? A ditty called Auntie Sylvia. If you havent heard of that song no worries, it was a song my friend Scott had written for his band The Raging Artichokes back in 1989. Thinking about that tune reminded me of the first time I heard it. Back in 1989 Scott and I along with our friend Colin were not the most popular kids at our school. We were't preppy or rich enough to fit in. We didnt mind though. We started calling ourselves the 3 amigos. Well it was cool at the time. Anyhow in the spring of '89, Scott made it into our school's battle of the bands. Colin and i showed up to support our friend. The odds were stacked against Scott. He was going to be playing almost all originals and would be steering clear of preppy favorites like Depeche mode and the Cure. These groups would be covered by just about every band that night. Anyhow Colin and i had been drinking beer for a few hours before the show and showed up just a bit tipsy. A couple of the cool teachers who were admitting us noticed but just laughed and let us in. We took a seat and the beer really kicked in. We were going to be ok as long as we stayed clear of our vice principal mr Vrieswick. He had a reputation of sucking the fun out of everything. We had secretly nick named him Indiana Vrieswick as he always seemed to be on an adventure when he would put an end to our good times. Anyhow about an hour in we had to use the washroom. Four pitchers of beer will do that to you. On our way out Colin went up to a blond female and commented on her breasts,i chimed in as well and commented they were nice. Unfortunately it turned out to be our writers craft teacher. Don't worry though she was cool about it when we appologized the following Monday. After we finished up in the washroom,who was waiting for us? Indiana Vrieswick himself on his own last crusade. He said he was tired of watching us stumble around all night and asked us to leave or we would be suspended. I started to protest. Scott hadnt been on yet and no way was i missing his set. Colin shut me up and told Indy we would leave. Of course he was lying. We hid in the upstairs girls bathroom for about half an hour in the dark. Then we snuck into the room where the spotlights were being shone an the bands. Also from this room the show was being recorded. Scott came out and kicked ass and totally rocked out. The preppy bastards in the audience as expected didnt care for his music and some boos were heard. Of course i decided i should yell my appreciation as loud as i could. This didnt sit well with the 7 a-holes lighting the stage and taping the show. They surrounded us and started telling us to shut the f up and asked us to get out. Colin looked at them and said "make me." Colin is about 6'5 tall and kind of scary but lets be honest 2 drunken guys against 7 sober guys? We were about to get our asses kicked. Apparently these guys didnt like the odds and one of them said "we better go get help." Remembering that we were facing suspension if we got caught by Short Rounds buddy Indy,we left. We hung around ouside for about 15 minutes until people started coming out. We figured we would ask who won and see what "cure" cover band beat our friend the 3rd amigo. We were pleasantly surprised when we heard Scott had won!! Good triumphed over evil! The Amigos ruled all!! What we didnt know was that in his victory speech he had thanked "the drunken duo" of Colin and Jay. After the show Indy had walked up to Scott and true to form attempted to ruin his night. He told Scott he shouldnt have mentioned we were drunk and went on to say he had kicked us out. Scott was a little surprised and shocked when we came running in and started hooting and hollering. I tried to high five him and fell on my ass. We managed to escape before Indy could find us and whip us. Anyhow it was a long story today. Its amazing the memories that came back today all because that song popped into my head. Cheers!

Thanksgiving is a special night Jimmy Walker used to say Dynomite

Well another Canadian Thanksgiving has come and gone. Really only one family arguement of note this year. Thats a record for our family i think. I couldnt help but remember my favorite Thanksgiving moment. It occurred four years ago. Kath was pregnant with Diana and we figured we would announce it to my family that night. We were trying to pick a good moment during dinner to make our big announcement. Somehow my sister and I had a disagreement about something and an arguement broke out. This was followed by my mom yelling at my step father and then my mom and sister yelling at my brother in law. Somehow i got out of the fight while evertone duked it out. I whispered to Kath "I think we better tell them our news now and end this war". I told everybody " hey i think i know what i can say to stop this fight,Kath and I are having a baby!" Everyone stopped shouting,mouths wide open not believing what they heard. It was priceless. Good times. And that was my favorite Thanksgiving moment, The end!

Countdown part 2

Oh yeah since I am a huge geek I am also counting down to the October 14th dvd release of Indiana Jones and TheKingdom of the Crystal Skull. I'm the only person I know that didnt have a problem with the movie. I guess people had a hard time with Indy meeting an alien. Oher than a couple of bad cgi shots of monkeys I loved the movie! Seriously it was so cool seeing Harrison Ford back in his most popular role. Well next to the guy in Random Hearts. I can only hope I look half as good when I'm 65.

The countdown begins!!

Good day and welcome to October. October is going to be great,especially October 31st. Not because thats Halloween. That's the day the new Kevin Smith move Zack And Miri make a porno comes out. What can i say I'm a huge fan of the man and have been since i first saw Clerks back in 1994. I totally related to that film as i also had my share of asshole customers on a daily basis. As a matter of fact Kevin Smith is one of the things that brought my wife and I together in 1999. We met each other on the internet and met for a date. We both agreed that if we didnt hit it off we would still go see the movie Dogma together. We did see it together and luckily we did hit it off well. Since then we've enjoyed Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back, Jersey Girl and Clerks 2 as well as his comic book work on Green Arrow and Daredevil. One time we were in the same room as Kev. Last year we went to a taping of the CBC show The Hour. Didn't get a chance to meet him but it would have ranked up there with our Fonzie meeting. I wonder if i should just skip trick or treating and go see the movie. I'm sure Diana would understand. Not.

Forgot to wish everyone a happy holiday

Yesterday was an important holiday. Almost as big as Christmas. I really hope everyone had a very happy Bruce Springsteen's birthday. I'm reminded of a time years ago when i worked at KFC. I asked my dumber than dirt assistant manager if we would get paid time and a half for working Tom Petty's birthday. She thought i was being serious and got mad at me for suggesting such a thing. I was advised that if I want to get paid extra for Tom Petty's birthday i should quit and go somewhere where i would be paid for it. This was the same lady who thought i was serious when i told her i was never washing my hand again becasue I had shaken Barney Bentall's hand. Again i got a lecture and was told about good hygene. What a dumb ass. Ah Kfc how i miss you-not. Seriously though Bruce Springsteen doesnt look like a man who will be 60 next year.

Here's a real shocker.

Wow I heard the most shocking news today. Clay Aiken came out of the closet! I can't believe it. I never would have thought that in a million years. I always thought he could be the next big action movie hero . I havent been this shocked since George Michael came out. Whats next? Elton John is also gay? Yeah I can't type this with a straight face.

Bentall show rocked/wifes a bootlegger

So on September 20th Kath and I were able to see Barney Bentall in concert again. For those of you who don't know who he is(and I think that would be anybody reading this blog) a brief history.

Barney Bentall has been releasind cd's both solo and with his band the Legendary Hearts in Canada since 1988. I've been a fan since the beginning. I met Kath in 1999 and was able to convert her into a fan. Seeing how she is from America she had never heard of him. He had kind of dissappeared for a few years to become a cattle rancher. Kath finally got to see him for the first time in 2004 and last saturday was out 4th Barney show. We were able to talk to him and get our pic taken with him in the past. He's a really nice guy. Here is a link to his 2 biggest singles.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IkskyqyadVo
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0FApKN6bkmU

Anyhow the concert was at a place in Hamilton at a place called the Hamilton Downtown arts centre. It was kind of a weird venue. When we arrived the concert hall wasnt open so we were told to go wait in the lounge.The lounge reminded me of a church re room and even had that rec room smell. Then i looked around and realized,we were probably the youngest people there. There were a lot of senior citizens. Later on i saw a few people that could have been our age. I overheard some people say they didnt even know who Barney was they just bought seasons tickets for the shows at this venue. So we finally go into the auditorium and it was smaller than my high schools auditorium. The stage set up was really weird as well. In addition to a mic and a piano and several guitars were various kitchen tables and chairs that looked like something out of my grand parents kirchen circa the 1970's. Oh and there was a small table with a lamp on it--i guess in case Barney wanted to read a book during the show. The announcer who came out to introduce him was so boring and unfunny. He actually said(in a boring voice) Barney Bentall's work with the Legenday hearts was legendary! We actually got to sit in the front row! The show itself was great. He opened the show with a brand new song and announced he was hard at work on a new cd. This was good news because this time it was only a 3 year wait between albums as oppossed to the 9 year gap between albums last night. Something else that was great--he was totally solo this time. We've seen him do the acoustic thing before but he had a couple of other musicians with him. This time he was totally on his own. He did all the old favorites--Something to live for, Come back to me, Do ya, life could be worse etc. He also did a killer version of Hungry Heart and Norwegian wood and even an old broadway song. At the end of the show he announced he would be touring Ontario next summer with The Legenday Hearts. He said he wanted to do another rock tour before he turned into a senior citizen. He's also a grandfather now. I'm hoping for another free show at the sound of music festival. After the show we got to talk to him for a bit,he signed our photo and said he remembered us from Hugh's room. He was cool as usual. I gotta tell ya if i had the cash i would so be at the Hugh's room show this week. Oh it should be mentioned that Kath is a bootlegger now, Her phone has a recording feature so she recorded the show. Wasnt that bad of a recording. My wife is wacky! QUe George constanza voice shouting "she's a bootleggah!" Until next time

Jay

Holy I'm F'ing old

I just realized something today. I'm practically a senior citizen. First of all my goatee is almost all white. I'm starting to look like Uncle Jesse from the Dukes of Hazzard. The other night i tried to read an old comic to Diana and had to stop becasue the printing was to small. Oh and on more than one occasion I've said the phrase "thats not music that's noise"! Pretty soon I'm gonna be wearing a diaper and yelling at kids on the front porch. Oh and I'll probably wear my pants up to my armpits. Holy crap I'm gonna be 40 next year. How did that happen? When did i become an old fart? And man do i feel old when i hear a song on the radio and suddenly remember it came out 20 years ago when I was in high school. Oh well at least i still listen to all the hip current bands like Huey Lewis and the Monkees.

On a lighter note my friend returned today and gave me a present,a nifty star wars key chain. Seeing her put me in a good mood. A lot of you probably know I'm a shy dude and have a hard time meeting new friends. Most of my friends i met back in high school. So i do appreciate the fact that i was able to make a friend at work in the last couple of years. wow could i use the word friend again? Joey Tribianni was my favorite character on friends.


Speaking of the show Friends. Anyone remember the episode of friends when Chris Parnell thought Chandler's name was Toby? He had been calling Chandler Toby for so many years that it was to late to correct him. Funny thing is i have a simillar situation at work. There's a lady at work who always calls me John. She's been calling me that since i came back from parental leave in 2005. Its much too late to correct her now. So John it is.

Until next time Jay (or John if you will)

shitty week/awesome mood

So Monday started off as bad as you could imagine. When i woke up it was pouring rain. I Didnt get enough sleep and felt like i had the crap kicked out of me. My first caller of the day at 8:00 in the morning reemed me out and told me what to go do with myself. By the way how is anyone that angry first thing in the morning. Seriously I didnt even wake up til about noon, four hours into my shift. Really? You woke up and the first thing on your agenda was calling up someone you dont even know and swearing your hick ass off? Anyhow despite the fact that i had to listen to call after call after call of bitching and moaning I was in a great mood. It's been a good week so far. First of all Big Brother finally ended this week. I watch that show every summer with Kath and every summer it annoys me. I gotta admit i will miss seeing Keesha fall out of her shirt every episode(see above).

Another thing getting me through the week is I have Saturday off and get a three day weekend. We`re going to see my favorite singer Barney Bentall in Hamilton. For my American friends he`s a singer who had a few hits in Canada only in the late 80`s and early 90`s. Kath and I have seen him before and even got a chance to meet him as evidenced in the above photo. Nice guy. Maybe this time I will tell him i used to have a cat I named after him. Yes I am a geek.


Also adding to the good mood, a friend of mine is returning to work after taking a leave of absence. I`m sure she doesnt want to be named in a blog so I`ll just call her Blair Warner fan. Hope she sees that and has a chuckle. There`s not a lot of us old timers at work anymore so I`m happy she`s coming back. It`ll be good to have another friend there to cheer me up when customers call in and call me every name in the book. Good times.

Thats it for now until next time

Keep the faith

Jay

Oh Chinese John Oates where art thou?

Sometimes when I'm getting yelled at by red necks my mind drifts off to other subjects. Take today for example. Today i started wondering whatever happenned to Ali Aleong. You may remember him as that Asian American guy that showed up in every action movie from the late '80's and early 90's. He played the asian american terrorist who ate the chocolate bar in Die Hard. He also played the asian american criminal who tortured Mel Gibson in Lethal Weapon, Before today i din't know he had a real name. To me he was always chinese John Oates. I think he looks like John Oates from the legendary Hall and Oates. Compare for yourself above. Anyhow hadn't seen good ol C.J.O. in awhile. Dammit he needs more work!! Come on hollywood wake up.

Cool a mundo

Ok I figured I'd go with a happier non work related story for my second post. This one is about one of the greatests moments of my life. The day I met The Fonz! Seriously this even ranks third after getting married and the birth of my child. As many of you know I am a complete nerd. I read comics,we have action figures on our basement wall and we named our daughter after Wonder Woman. Keeping this in mind, every year in August we attend a comic book convention in Toronto. Many celebrities attend this event. Over the years the con has featured William Shatner,Lou Ferrigno and the midget that played R2D2 in Star Wars. Lots of cool people but no one i really wanted to stand in line to meet...until this year.

I couldnt believe my eyes when I saw Henry Winkler was one of the guests this year. I'd been a fan since grade 2 when Happy Days was still running. I remember being mad the night Elvis Presley died because Happy Days was interrupted. It was the one where Ritchie and Fonzie had to report for army training. Hell I almost got the strap in grade 2 for telling another kid to sit on it. As a teenager i remained a fan. He did have a hand in the creation of Macgyver after all. Man i even watched him on his lame doctor show where he was banging Jennifer Tilly. What can I say I'm a fan.

This brings me to that fateful day of August 23rd 2008. We made our way into the convention. We moved past Princess Leia's,assorted ninja's and Spidermen and fellow nerds. We somehow wound up in front of the autograph signing area. This years guests included Edward James Olmos, Data from Star Trek and Michael Rosenbaum-tv's Lex Luthor. The booth on the end belonged to Henry Winkler. Both Kath and I became nervous. We got in line to meet a tv legend. Here's what I couldnt believe, he had the shortest line in the place. We were 3rd or 4th in the line. He's a tv legend,he still appears in film(including Adam Sandler movies) and he also writes childrens books. Meanwhile the dude who played Boba Fett in 2 star Wars movies for a total of 10 minutes 25 years ago and hasnt worked since had a line wrapped around the building.Go figure. A friend of mine from work saw us and started talking to me. I can't remember a single thing she said to me. I was about to come face to face with Arthur Fonzerelli.

It was our turn. Holy crap.What could i possibly have to say to the Fonz? I shouldnt have been worried. What a nice guy he turned out to be. He talked to us for a few minutes and shook our hands and signed one of his childrens books for Diana our daughter. He wrote To Diana the world is yours. He let us take a photo and before we left Kath made me tell him about my little grade 2 near strapping experience. He laughed. So there you have it. What celebrities may we see in the future? I'm hoping someday I get to meet Macgyver. Its good to have dreams.

Welcome

Hey there.
So a few months ago a friend of mine told me i should consider writing a blog. I thought cool idea but what could i possibly talk about? I talked to my wife who reminded me i hear alot of ridiculous stories concerning customers on a daily basis. So i guess i could share my thoughts on the various individuals i have to deal with everday and touch on the barrage of stupid questions i have to handle. Hey i even have the occasional good day i could talk about.

So as I'm sure by now you all know i listen to phone calls from angry cable tv customers in the United States. Apparently their tv means more to them then life itself. I've been called every name in the book over the years and have even had my life threatened. One lovely Phoenix customer told me he was going to come find me and tear me a new hole. He wasnt impressed when I told him I was in Canada. Guess he didn't want to spend the money on a plane ticket. Whew. dodged a bullet there!!


So one of my favorite calls occurred just last week. A gentleman from Northern Virginia called and demanded credit for his pay per view movie. That wasn't an unusual request as many people call in when we experience technical difficulties and don't want to be charged for a film that wont play. This particular guy was able to view his entire movie and it played perfectly. His beef? Well turns out he ordered a porno film and there wasnt any "girl on girl" action in it. I immediately began laughing so hard that i had to put my finger on the mute button of my phone. This kid was dead serious. I tried to explain that we have no control over the content of the movie and unfortunately could not apply a credit. I really tried hard to be nice about it. I couldnt believe the balls on this customer. If it was me and i had looked at porn,i wouldn't want anyone to know about it. The more i turned down his request for a credit the madder he got. Soon i was dealing with a screaming customer who was starting to sound a lot like the Hulk. Finally I had enough. This guy was keeping me on the phone,my shift had ended 10 minutes ago. I told him that there was no way he was getting credit for a movie that failed to satisfy him. Guess the Hulk reached his breaking point because then he demanded a supervisor. I got a supervisor, explained what Joe Hairy palms wanted and was greeted with laughter. Yes i deal with morons like this all the time.

Anyhow if you actually read this please be kind. I've never blogged before , If I continue to write I promise not ever post will be about some random douchebag from work. Hope every one is well and talk to you again