My father

Well theres no easy way to tell what else happenned in my life this week. I found out that my father had passed away. As you all know i hadnt spoken to him in 15 years. A few months the woman i refuse to call step mother cornered me at a show and gave me their email address. I honestly sat down at the computer and tried to write something. I couldnt come up with anything so i didnt send anything. I guess he'd been in a coma in the hospital for a week.

This may make me sound heartless but i decided not to go to the hospital. i talked to Kath about it and to me it may have been a stranger in the hospital. I also realized i wouldnt feel bad if i never said goodbye. As far as i was concerned i said goodbye 15 years ago. Did i want him to pass away? Of course not but i felt as if i already had closure. If in 10 years i regret my descision than thats still my descision.

I'm really happy i didn't go to the hospital. Maggie--the anti step mother was acting like a total bitch according to my sister. I guess she was bad mouthing my mother and being ignorant. I had no desire to be part of that. Screw that noise. I'm glad i wasnt part of that drama.

Anyhow my dad passed away saturday. Maggie wated about a day and a half before telling my sister. What a bitch. I decided to skip the funeral as well. I have to commend my mother for going to the funeral home despite the evil bitch from hell. I'm totally here for my mom and sister but it didnt feel right for me to go. I didnt even feel sad which i know is bad. Even as a kid it was my mom that always did stuff with Su and I. My dad couldnt be bothered. My sister tried to get closer to him in the later years but it seemed like he couldnt be bothered with that either.

This just made me realize what a good father i want to continue to be to Diana and if i ever pull the same kind of stuff i expect her to not talk to me for 15 years or longer. Anyhow I'm gonna move on to happier news from the week.